blackquietloudchaos

Be kind, as everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don’t know about.

I have a condition called Central Centrifugal Cicatricial Alopecia (CCCA). You may have heard it called hot comb alopecia (Zoinks! Triggered! Bergamot grease, the sizzle, ughhhh).

At some point, I will probably lose most, if not all, of my hair in the crown of my head. There is no cure and using “x” product will not “fix” it. Trust me, I’ve tried them all, including:

• Good ole bergamot
• PINK MOISTURIZZZZZZER (in my 80s S-curl voice. Wait, I’ve used S-curl products too)
• Oregano oil (that one burned AND I smelled like lasagna for the rest of the day)
• Monistat (yep, I put yeast infection medication on my scalp. Don’t judge me)
• Magic protein conditioner and sitting under the hair dryer until the MASH theme is playing on the tv at 1am
• Biotin (those tasted like chalk)
• The Hair, Skin, and Nails gummies (ok, I can work with this one on a regular basis)
• Jamaican black/blue/green/red/jerk chicken castor oil
• injections (these REALLY HURT. Worse than the oregano oil burn)
• Rogaine/minoxidil (that was a fun one yall. It worked, but I started to grow sideburns and facial hair. Plus you have to use it for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Yall really want me out here looking like Sasquatch, huh? After the facial hair debacle, I said HELL NAW and kept it moving)
• Shea butter
• Olive oil
• Mayonnaise
• Avocado (ok yall got me smelling like a whole salad bar now)
• Mane and Tail shampoo (YES YALL, I revived this one and went back to the 90s when I actually had hair!)
• Coconut oil
• A whole expensive ass hair transplant

And guess what? NONE OF IT WORKED.

When I received a diagnosis of my condition, I started doing research of course to see if there was anything I could do to restore my hair or alleviate the condition. This is what I found out that was quite interesting:

• It’s usually genetic. Yep, I can see that one. Almost everyone on my dad’s side of the family loses their hair in the crown of their head as they get older.
• It may be triggered by relaxing your hair, or relaxing your hair can make it worse
• It also may be triggered by an abnormal immune response to trauma (y’all, I really got this one covered. More on that later…)
• You will start to notice the thinning usually in your late 30s or early 40s (I got an A+ here! Mine started in my early 30s. BAM TAKE THAT!)
• When the condition starts, you may notice pain, spots, or tenderness in your scalp
• It progresses to either a shiny bald spot or an area of hair that is very short and will not grow past a certain length

NOW IMMA BE LOUD HERE. THIS IS WHERE BLACK PEOPLE WORK MY NERVES!

THIS IS WHAT IT IS NOT:

• Caused by diet
• Caused by traction hairstyles (this is a different form of alopecia called traction alopecia. Got that one too. This is how I ended up in the hair transplant chair. After the transplant, I continued to lose hair in the crown of my head and the spot grew bigger and bigger. This is how I knew something was going on)
• Caused by stress (oooooooo girl that’s your stress spot! I told you to stop stressing over that man! (In my grandma voice))

Imma about to be with the shits for a hot minute.

One of my solutions? I decided to go booty butt ass naked bald.

After I Brazilianed my head, I started to get comments such as:

• Why did you cut off your hair?
• You look like a (insert expletive for a lesbian here)
• Are you bisexual? Ok yall, this one really tripped me out. So I went to a nightclub and I was dancing, and this guy starts dancing with me. All good so far. So he starts the small talk, you know, where do you live, what’s your name, yadda yadda yadda. About four questions in, he asks, “Do you go both ways?” I’m taken aback. I don’t know why I was taken aback given the other comments, but I was. I replied “No, why do you say that?” He gives me a devilish grin and responds “You know why.” that’s it yall, I’m done. I walked off.

Looka heah,

WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO WITH MY HAIR IS MY CHOICE.

IF I WANT TO CUT IT OFF AND ROCK MY HAIR 2 MILLIMETERS, I DON’T NEED YOUR APPROVAL.

IF I WANT TO WEAR A 30″ WIG NAMED BEYONCE (Hey, I want to get a job naming wigs when I retire. How does that work? Where do I apply? What are the qualifications?) THAT’S MY CHOICE.

I am truly grateful that Black women are embracing their natural hair and leaving some of the hairstyles that end up causing more harm than good alone (see me, circa 2002. I lived in Microbraids done by the Africans for $150. That’s how I ended up with traction alopecia).

But I do ask, that the next time you want to make someone’s hair because they are missing their edges,

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

(Disclaimer — now if they come at you sideways first, then the gloves are off. Go for it.)